The Jeffersonian: Politicks, Sports, and Culture

Monday, January 23, 2006

Ah-hahahahahahaha

That was the sound coming out of my mouth, imagining the looks on the faces of Royal Massett and Paul Burka as I learned this weekend that "Democratic Gubernatorial Frontrunner" Felix Alvarado's* filing check had bounced. Wonderful choice fellas. Really. Good. Choice.

Actually, it's been a couple of days since then and both Massett and Burka have moved on already. They're in the process of putting together a press conference for tomorrow though- either at the Capitol or in front of the Alamo. I don't know, they haven't decided which looks 'more Texan' yet. At the press conference, they'll be anointing their new Democratic Gubernatorial hopeful- Rashad Jafar. Three main reasons stand out:

  • Jafar's not white. And EVERYBODY knows that only non-white people vote in the Democratic primary now.
  • Jafar doesn't have one of them Amuriken sounding names. So he must be... you know... against us. And since Democrats just love to give aid and comfort to the enemy, he's a definite shoe-in.
  • Finally, Rashad Jafar shares a name with that dude from Aladdin. His name ID is stratospheric. Nuff said.
On another note I completely missed doing any analysis about these campaign finance reports. So we'll stick to the big one. Perry and Strayhorn have lots of money (although both have spent some money on TV). Moving on.

Bell and Gammage? Bell's doing a good enough job right now. Gammage started late but even so, take away one $50,000 contribution and the rest of his contributions end up totaling a little over $12,000. Although since all this money's gonna be wasted by March 7 to begin with none of this really matters for the big battle in November.

As for Kinky, well, all I gotta say is, must be nice having a sugar-daddy huh? And can one really be called a shampoo magnate? Don't they reserve the title 'magnate' for heads of families like the Astors, Carnegies, Morgans, and Rockefellers? At what point and time did the 'magnate club' start to lower their standards? These are the questions that bother me at night.



* Note: I don't know Felix Alvarado from Adam. My laugh was not directed at him in any way, shape, or form. I'm pretty sure that while he may have thought he had a good shot at winning the nomination, he did not ever think he was the clear cut favorite.